Funniest Student Quotes
- issiebrown
- Oct 3
- 3 min read
(Cover image - Der Flötenspieler, sculpture by Walter Wadephul in Wiesbaden, Germany, photo taken in June 2025)
One of the many joys of teaching kids is hearing the wide variety of things they have to say - from the profoundly insightful to the deeply funny. Here, for your reading pleasure, are a collection of the latter that I have gathered from my teaching over the last several years. I hope they will brighten your day in the same way they have mine. Read to the end for possibly my all-time favourite excuse for an incomplete practice assignment!
My contributions to the conversations are in Italics.
“That’s really important, I need you to save that one in your brain, yeah?“
“There are no hotels left in my brain, they‘re all full because I learnt like 1000 words last year“
“I had this for dinner!”
*points to piece called ‘Mexican Jumping Beans
“You had beans?”
“Nahhh, I had noodles”
“Try to remember to bring your book next week. Write it on the fridge!”
“I’ll write it in blood”
“Put your listening ears on”
“I left them at home”
“You’re vegetarian?! I’ll bring some carrots to the next lesson.”
“How was your trip? Are you feeling jet lagged?”
“No not at all, I just go to bed at nighttime like normal”
Later in the lesson:
“I think I just saw some smoke come out of the keyboard”
“Have you changed your eye colour?”
“Folk tunes are music that are specific to a particular culture, and have usually been around for a long time”
“Is 90s music folk music?”
“No”
“But it’s old!”
“Is it your job to be annoying?”
“My baby sister ate bark over the weekend, and my parents thought she’d had chocolate because she had brown stuff all over her face, but I knew it was bark because I saw her eat it”
“You saw her eat it and didn’t think to try to stop her?”
“No, I wanted to see if she’d like it”
“So the next piece is called Little Lost Kitty. The poor cat is lost! What are we going to do?”
“Kill it”
“What are you doing?”
“I’m sniffing the page to find out what kind of ink they used”
*throws themself at the piano stool
“This is my bed”
“I’m playing in my flute ensemble at the Christmas fete at school and we’re playing Deck the Halls with Bras of Holly!”
“I don’t know that off the top of my head”
“Can you search the bottom of your head and see if you know it there”
“Did you do anything exciting on the weekend?”
“I went to the emergency department”
“Oh no, what happened?”
“When I was in my after-school maths class, I tried to make earplugs from bits of my eraser and a bit got stuck”
“Do you have any questions for me?”
“Are you a teenager?”
“I’m a proffesionist!”
“Would you like to choose a sticker?”
“I’m going to choose the pig, because my friend is crazy and I’m going to stick it on her head”
“Can I write a song about murder?”
“Where is Kentucky?”
Student 1: “It’s a state in Australia”
Student 2: “It’s in Turkey”
“You have a lovely week!”
“I won’t”
“Tell me about your trip to Japan!”
“We ate sushi and stuff”
“How was sport?”
“Good! I scored 2 goals, but I got 5 fouls because I was being terrible. I didn’t break any bones though!”
“In my band at school we have uniphoniums !”
“I like to try to dislocate my wrist at home!”
“What is Mr Smith doing?”
“I think he’s doing some lesson planning.”
“Why?”
“Well because he’s got to plan all your classes”
“No he doesn’t, I’ve had enough of learning”
“I wonder what kind of music fishes like? Probably flip flop!”
“Why haven’t you done your theory homework?”
“I went grocery shopping”
“You went grocery shopping all week?!”
“Yeah”
That’s all for now folks! Let me know your favourite quote!
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